In the covered Radio Flyer wagon were two little girls, one around eighteen months old and the other maybe three years old. They both had large brown eyes and sandy blonde hair.

They’re sisters, their foster mom said. She was thankful they got to stay together and were not separated when they were removed from their birth home. 

“Dadda, dadda,” repeated the younger one, as she grabbed at a bag of candy in the bottom of the wagon.

“She knows her daddy will give it to her, but I won’t,” the foster mom said. “Too late in the day.”

They intend to adopt. They’re already in the process of adopting another little boy who has lived with them for around a year.

I didn’t ask any details. I just wish I understood foster care better.

How does a family take children into their home for a night or two, or twenty days, or twenty plus years, adopting them for a lifetime? How do families manage when the babies placed in their care suffer withdrawals from being born to mothers who are addicted to hard drugs? How do foster parents let go when the time comes for the children to be reunited with birth families, or are placed with other relatives? Reunification is the goal in most situations, but that doesn’t make letting go any easier for the foster parents.

What kind of a heart would I need to be able to do the same thing?

Today I had the opportunity to visit a local Department of Human Resources and learn more about statistics in my own small, rural county. There are currently forty children in foster care, but there are only eight foster families in the county.

Eight. 

Only some of those forty children were able to remain in the county. Several are placed in foster homes throughout the state. It makes visitation and, consequently, the possibility of maintaining any kind of connections with the children’s birth families very difficult.

Yet today I read an article about pronatalists, individuals who believe in having large families due to falling birth rates worldwide. It appears that the pronatalist movement has become one of the Trump administration’s cornerstones. There is even a draft executive order that includes the awarding of a “National Medal of Motherhood” to mothers with six or more children.

I wonder if foster or adopted children would be included in that total.

I also wonder if paid parental leave, ample child care options, and universal preschool would be a part of the package.

Before we indulge in a frosted cake of fine ideas, we’ve still got the meat and potatoes of our society that need our attention. The weakest and most vulnerable members of our country cannot protect themselves. 

And now you can say there are bad foster families. I’ve heard those stories too. I’ve heard of adults that foster children only for the money. I’ve heard of horrid abuse that has happened in foster homes. 

There are also situations where some foster children, suffice it to say, are challenging. Some children are placed in different homes, or even in long-term care facilities, because they are a danger to themselves and to their foster families. 

Sometimes it takes a while to get kids’ meds balanced. 

Sometimes it takes a while for counseling to begin to have results.

Those little brown-eyed, blonde-haired girls are in no need for either of those right now.

Someone had gone to the dollar store and purchased fuzzy bunny ears, bubble wands, and candy for the girls. The youngest one was wearing her new ears, looking at herself on a phone screen, giggling and smiling at her foster mother.

Her foster mom smiled back.

This little girl and her sister would make children #5 and #6 for the foster parents. 

But this mom doesn’t need a medal.

It looks like she’s already got her reward.