I’m making myself down a 24-ounce bottle of water while I sit in the shade on my porch during a sunny summer afternoon.

You see, after working outside for several days, I can say, with a fair amount of certainty, that I got dehydrated.

I didn’t need an IV, although there was a period of time after the second day of laboring in the heat and humidity that I would have gladly taken an infusion.

I didn’t dry up and blow away, but the screaming headache that developed as my sponge of a brain cried out for relief was a sign of distress.

Why didn’t I have enough sense to do the simple thing, the easiest solution of all?

Drink the stupid water.

I’ve had to learn to like water. It was never high on my list of beverage options when I was a kid. 

Give me milk with my chocolate chip cookies and Coca-Cola with my cheeseburgers.

Water is flavorless, plain, and simply not fun. Water is for mixing with the Kool-Aid packet and added sugar. 

Water is for swimming. Water is for the fish, for they can’t swim through air. Water was also for the cows to guzzle by the gallon before their twice-daily milking on my family’s dairy farm, many moons ago.

Even athletes didn’t drink water, we were led to believe. Those of us of a certain age remember this jingle: “Gatorade is thirst-ade, for that deep down body thirst!”

And of course, we all wanted to “Be Like Mike.”

Other sports drink commercials displayed athletes sweating out blue, red, or green fluids, and then filling back up with the same brightly dyed liquid, a sweetened elixir of supposed health, performance, and strength.

A disclaimer: I cannot claim the phrase “drink the stupid water.” The first time I heard it was at a conference for educators, and Dr. Tina Boogren was facilitating a session on “Wellness for Educators.” On her list of priorities, what was number one?

Drink the stupid water.

I thought I would do a little research and see if the phrase is trademarked or copyrighted. I found nothing to indicate a legal protection, but I did find Rachel Hollis, the author of Girl, Wash Your Face. On her website, an article published on March 12, 2020 titled “Drink the Stupid Water” touts all the benefits of increased water consumption, such as greater energy, better skin, and hunger control.

Two thoughts—

The first: eek at that date, right at the jumping off point of when the modern world stopped on a dime due to a new and seemingly uncontrollable virus spreading across the globe.

The second: how about reducing constipation as a benefit, Ms. Hollis? Your website is beautiful, as are you and your message, but there are plenty of us out here who need a more direct, blunt message to get us to make a change. 

Jesus was pretty blunt with the Samaritan woman in John 4:1-42, and she was equally direct with him during their exchange. Jesus leads with a pointed question in verse seven: “Will you give me a drink?”

The setting is Jacob’s well in the town of Sychar in Samaria, a no-go zone for the Jews, which the Samaritan woman knows as she reminds the stranger at the well of societal expectations in verse nine: “‘You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?’ (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans).”

But this was Jesus, and he wanted water, and for a much greater purpose than just to quench his thirst: 

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (v13-14).

When their conversation was finished, the woman left her water jar at the well, the task abandoned with the thoughts of something greater unfolding.

She had her mind on the miracle of living water, on the coming of the Messiah, and on spreading the news to the people in her town, leading many of the Samaritans to believe in Jesus. Scripture also says that Jesus stayed with the Samaritans for two days, “and because of his words many more became believers.”

Maybe the woman told the people to drink the stupid water, maybe not.

I know one thing: some of y’all might not get the point any other way.

So if you’ve got a headache, drink the stupid water.

If you’re straining to squeeze a Milk Dud, drink the stupid water.

Before you go outside and work in the heat, drink the stupid water, and carry a half-gallon jug with you to chug like a horse during breaks.

If you’ve stopped sweating, call 911 and get to a cool place, like now. It’s too late to drink the water.

But especially, drink deeply from the well of that living water, and remind yourself of one of the final promises contained in Scripture:

He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.”

Revelation 21:6-7

It’s not milk, Coca-Cola, Gatorade, or sweet tea, but it goes down easy.

You know you’re thirsty.

Drink and be filled.

For now, and for all eternity.